A Force of Nature
by Psycho Weasel
Summary: It was a friendship, that became a secret. David has always had feelings for Jack, what he didn't know was that Jack felt the same way. Is there a way to get what you want most with out hurting people you love? Lame summary. Slash, duh. R
1. The Wings

_**DISCLAMER:** I don't own any Newsies character. For those of you who have seen Brokeback Mountain and reconize some quotes, just know that I don't own those either._

_**WARNING:** Slash. Don't like it? Don't read it._

_**NOTE:** I'm really surprised that no one has written a Brokeback Mountain/Newsies thing...and if someone has...whoops. I think that this is going to be as close as it gets with that. I originaly was going to make this short, but then I got into the Brokeback Mountain mood. So I added a dash of gay cowboys into the mix (hey, Jack wants to go to Santa Fe...it fits...)._

* * *

_I don't know where it all came from. This feeling I got when I looked at him. The fake smile I gave him when he made a bad joke. I can never look at him the same way with out feeling my heart beat faster. I can't think of him with out having a strange feeling down in my stomach, and even lower. I don't know how it happened or when…it just did, and I can't stop it now. Because love is a force of nature._

**oXoXoXo**

"You gonna finish those fries Davey?" Spot asked me pointing at the small basket of fries. I sighed and pushed the basket over towards him. Racetrack rolled his eyes as Spot started working on the fries. The gang and I decided to go to a bowling alley just to hang out for the evening. Besides me and Jack, the others were going cutesy on each other, so it seemed like a group date instead of a bunch of friends hanging out. I looked over at Blink who was preparing to throw a bowling ball into the lane. He lifted the ball, and lowered it again. He shifted to the left and scooted back. Then he lifted the ball again, then lowered it.

"Blink! Would you throw the ball already!?" Jack shouted impatiently. Blink dropped the ball into the lane. It rolled straight for a moment, and then landed in the gutter. I stared up at the screen where a short movie of a bowling pin being smashed by a rock was playing. Blink turned and glared at Jack. Jack smirked. "Your welcome." Mush went up to Blink and threw his arms around his neck.

"It's ok Blink," Mush smiled. "At least you've hit a few pins." Blink smiled and gave Mush a kiss on the lips.

"Yeah, unlike Spot who's only focused on eating." Blink laughed.

"I heard that Patchy!" Spot growled before popping two more fries in his mouth. Racetrack shook his head and grabbed Spot's hand. Spot looked at Racetrack and smiled. Racetrack smiled back and kissed his hand. I was glad to see that Racetrack and Spot were happy together, despite the rough beginning they had. I looked over at Blink and Mush. The two were still holding on to one another and smiling.

"_I'm glad that every one is enjoying each other," _I thought to myself. Then I turned my head reluctantly towards Jack. He was leaning against a table near by. His hair was nearly slicked back, beside the few that usually hung down. My heart lurched forward as he smiled and stood straight. He went over to pick up a bowling ball and stood in front of the lane. I watched as his muscles flexed underneath his gray t-shirt. I started imagining what those would have looked like, without the shirt. I stood up and walked behind him. He looked back at me and smirked.

"This is how a real man throws a bowling ball," he told me, but said it loud enough for all to hear. He turned his head back towards the lane and pulled the ball back behind him. At that moment, I grabbed the ball and watched as he threw his empty arm forward and fall flat on his face. I laughed my "girly giggle", as Spot would call it, as the rest of the gang started laughing.

"That's some throw Jack," Racetrack called. Jack sat up and whipped his bloody lip. He glared at me, before smiling. He stood and grabbed the bowling ball back from me.

"Sorry Jack," I said to him. "Couldn't resist." Jack shoved me playfully and then threw the ball in the lane. A perfect strike. He looked back at me.

"Your turn," he whispered. I grabbed a bowling ball and positioned myself towards the lane. I stared at the bowling pins in front of me before taking a few steps back. I don't know what made me want to have a running start before I threw the ball, but I did it. I ran forward, holding the ball behind me, and let go. Unfortunately, if you mess with Jack, you get stuck in your own mess. As I let go, I noticed that I didn't have a ball to let go of. And since I had a running start, my weight pushed me forward down the lane. I yelled as I was sliding down the lane. Then I crashed into the wall and fell on my back. I groaned and laid there for a moment.

"David!" Jack shouted as he slid after me. He made himself fall just before he got to me. I was coughing a bit once Jack reached me and sat me up. "Are you ok?" I nodded. He sighed and gave me the friendly hug he usually gave me. "Don't scare me like that you idiot. I thought I was going to have to pay for your medical bills."

"You? Scared?" I laughed as pulled back from the hug and stood up. "Jack, the day you're actually scared is the day the world comes to an end." He stared at me as I started gliding back towards the others.

"Hey guys, check out the show off," Blink laughed. I looked back and saw Jack moon-walking back towards us. I laughed as he add a little spin at the end. Mush had an excited look on his face.

"That looks like fun!" Mush exclaimed. "I want to try!" Blink held on to Mush's hand as the other boy tried to slide down the lane next to us.

"Mush I don't think you should--WHOAH!" Blink yelled as Mush pulled him down the lane. Blink fell and pulled Mush with him. The two boys were laughing as they slid down towards the pins. Spot ran past me and slid sideways down our lane.

"This is how it's done boys," he called before falling down. Jack pushed me down the lane again after Spot. I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me. I let go of his hand and lowered myself to the lane, trying to slow down. Jack fell on top of me, and the both of us were laughing as we reached the pins. I saw Racetrack sliding down the lane beside us.

"Falling, yes I am falling. And she keeps calling, me back again," he sang loudly. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Of course Racetrack would sing a song from a musical that Broadway freak," Jack muttered to me. I chuckled and looked up at him. The smile on my face vanished as I realized that Jack was on top of me. I could feel myself blush. Only in my imagination have I thought this would ever happen. Jack's smile faded as well and he looked deep into my eyes. I tried to control the feeling I was getting below my stomach, but it was very hard while I was getting lost in his chocolate eyes. He smiled and jumped up.

"Hey guys!" Jack called to the boys. I sat up and walked back to the tables. I distracted myself by thinking about the super-hero movie I had seen a week ago. The feeling was gone. "Lets have a race to see who slides the fastest!" The boys shouted in agreement and all positioned themselves at a lane. The people at the lanes we were using up, weren't very happy about a bunch of teens taking up their bowling space. I stood a few feet away from the beginning of our lane and looked over at Jack. He grinned at me.

"On your mark!" Mush called.

"Get set!" Spot shouted.

"Go!" Blink finished, as I tore my eyes away from Jack. We all raced forward and started sliding down our lanes. One by one, the boys fell to the floor until I was the only one left. I raised my arms above my head and let out a victory yell before I too fell on the floor.

"Attention all bowlers," a voice said. "The bowling alley is now closed due to the recklessness of the bowlers in lane six." I tried to keep myself from laughing as I looked at Mush and mouthed, "Whoops." He giggled. "Sorry for the inconvenience folks. And you teens at lane six had better get your asses out of here before I call the cops!" I stood up and hurried over towards the rest of the group.

"Well, I guess that means we better split," Blink whispered. We returned our shoes and headed out of the bowling alley.

**oXoXoXo**

It was the usual drop-off routine when the gang went out. Jack dropped off all the boys to their houses and left me for last. I don't know why he insists to leave me last, but I never complained. It would give us a chance to talk for a while, and for my preference, be alone. Today was no different, except for the fact that we didn't talk much. I was too love-struck about what happened, when Jack was on top of me. We drove in silence after Jack dropped off Racetrack and Spot at Spot's place. I could tell that Jack was getting agitated by the silence, but I didn't know what to say to him with out bringing that up.

"So," he finally said. I didn't look at him. "Did you have fun today?" I nodded. He waited. "You didn't get too hurt while sliding down that lane the first time did you?" I shook my head. "You do know I want more than your head shaking as a response." I shrugged. He growled a bit frustrated, but didn't say anything else. He pulled the car over a couple of blocks away from my house. He cut the engine and we sat there. I looked at him.

"Why did we stop?" I asked quietly. He put on a surprised face.

"A miracle! He speaks!" Jack joked. I rolled my eyes and shoved him playfully. Jack smiled. Then he un-buckled my seatbelt and then his own. He got out of the car and opened my door. I gave him a confused look. "I wanted to talk to you."

"What about?" I asked.

"Sarah, me…and you." Panic swept through my body for a second, but then I played it cool. I got out and shut the door behind me. He tilted his head towards the side walk and I nodded. We walked side by side down the street, with only the street lamps to give us light. We were so close that our hands would always brush against each other. I pursed my lips.

"So, you said you wanted to talk about Sarah," I said nervously. He gave a stiff nod. "What did you want me to know about her? She not a virgin or something?" Jack stopped and stared into my eyes very strict like.

"David," he said sternly. "I don't know if you know this, but I _never _want to have sex with anyone until after I'm married." I looked down at the cement. I didn't want to look at his eyes when they were like that.

"Sorry," I muttered. "It was just a joke…"

"Well, it wasn't a very good one," he nearly hissed. I nodded and tried to walk past him. Jack grabbed my arm and held me in place. I still didn't want to look at him. "Hey, I'm sorry. It's just a really touchy subject." I slowly looked up at him. He smiled warmly and let go.

"I'm sorry too," I told him. He sat down on the grass and patted the ground next to him. I sat next to him and sighed. "So what is it you wanted to talk about Sarah?"

"Aren't you curious about what I have to say about you?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I guess I sort of am, but she's my sister. If there's anything that important that I need to know about her, then I want to hear about her first."

"Wow, you really care about your family."

"It's a curse." Jack laughed as I smiled.

"Have you heard of the movie 'Brokeback Mountian?'" Jack asked me. I gave him a weird look. His smile turned into a grinned.

"No…I haven't." He laid down and looked up at the stars. I sat there for a moment, then laid down as well.

"Well, it takes place in the summer of 1963. Two nineteen year old boys, like us, decided to get a job as sheep herders. The two of them have a pretty hard life, and feel pretty alone. While they're working together, they develop a friendship. That friendship becomes so strong, that--"

"They turn queer?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah, you could say that. So anyways, one boy wants them to be together no matter what, but the other doesn't think it would work. He said that if anyone had ever found them together then they could be killed for being queer." The summer night sounds surrounded us. I saw Jack shut his eyes for a minute, then look up at the stars above us. I looked up as well. We laid there close to each other, listening to the crickets chirp. "Love is a force of nature, David." I looked at him.

"Why did you tell me all of this?" I said sounding puzzled. He didn't look at me, he just kept looking at the stars.

"I've seen that movie a couple of times and I can relate pretty well," he murmured, completely ignoring my question.

"How come?"

"Well, the boy who doesn't want the two to be together is named Ennis. The other boy…" Jack paused and sighed. "The other boy's name is Jack." I was glad that Jack was still gazing up at the stars, because I didn't want him to see my shocked face.

"I…I don't…" I couldn't spit it out.

"Later, after the two boys leave the ranch, Ennis gets married and Jack has his own girl. But Jack is more attracted to men." Jack added. Now I was really confused. Was Jack trying to tell me something that I had been dying to hear ever since I figured out that I liked him more than just a friend? Or was he just trying to avoid the subject that he really needed to talk about? Jack finally looked at me. "Do you get it?"

"Jack…"

Jack pulled him self on top of me and held my face. My heart was pounding faster as he used his thumb to rub my cheek. I lifted my hand and held his hand. He lowered his head and brushed his nose gently against mine.

"David…" Jack whispered. Jack closed his eyes and lowered his head a little more, causing his lips to touch mine. A wave of pleasure ran through my body. I opened my mouth a little and let him kiss me fully. Then everything he was telling me about the movie made sense. Jack looked at that movie as his own love life. He didn't like Sarah…he liked _me_.

Jack groaned as I felt his tongue brush against the roof of my mouth. One of my hands grabbed onto the back of Jack's head, while the other wrapped around his waist. Jack put much force and passion into the kiss he gave me. I could feel that feeling down below again, but this time I let it go. This was what I had wanted for a while, and I didn't care anymore if he knew about this. One of Jack's hand left my face and went into my shirt. I moaned as I felt his hand slide up from my abs to my chest and stay there.

Jack pulled back and broke the kiss. Even though my head was spinning from the emotions that were running through my body, I whimpered a bit and pulled his head back to my head. He didn't fight it. We kissed for a second, before he moved his lips down to my neck. I opened my eyes when he stopped. I stared into his eyes. We were both breathing pretty hard, like we were two robbers who had just ran away from a bunch of police officers. Jack smiled and kissed my neck again.

"Do you get it now?" he muttered into my neck. I held his head and waist tighter.

"I do now," I whispered as I ran my fingers through his dirty blond hair. _"And I'm glad that I did."_

_

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Guess what everyone? I have decided from the begining that this story is not going to be a one-shot. gasp! Yeah, I sort of have a story line planned out for this...and I think it might some-what be like the Brokeback Mountain story line...but not really. I thought of the story line before I looked up Brokeback Mountain. Yeah, I ruined the movie for me by reading the summary...but it's just because I'll never get the chance to actually watch the movie. grumbles angryly If anyone likes it the way it is, I'd like to know. If anyone thinks is a good or bad idea that I'm going to make this a chapter story, then I'd like to know. What I'm basically saying is I'd like to hear what you guys think of this. Don't be shy to point things out, I've come to find out that they really help (someone pointed out in my other story "Spot's Symbols" that it was hard to understand what the characters were saying, and lo and behold, they were right). Oh another thing...the whole bowling date thing...I got that idea from the movie, Across The Universe. I also don't own that._


	2. Don't Say You Love Him

**_DISCLAIMER:_** _I don't own Newsies._

_**WARNING:**_ _Slash. Don't like it? Don't read it._

_**NOTE:** School started today. I'm kind of excited and kind of not excited. But in other news, I did finally get to see Brokeback Mountain. IT IS AMAZING!! I was so touched after I watched it. I'm going to try to fix this story up a little so it sort of is like the movie, but not completly because that would be called, "Plagarisim," and we all know that it's bad._

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Life is great...

Time flies when you don't even realize it. Summer had started coming to an end. Ever since we had the bowling "incident", as Mush would call it, the gang hadn't gotten together in a while. In the mean time we had started trying to apply for colleges…well…at least _I_ was. Jack noticed how stressed I was getting with trying to find a good school, so he would usually try to help out with my applications. No matter how tough it got for me trying to find a good school, Jack would always be there for me.

I felt over protective about Jack. I felt like Jack was mine. Jack probably felt the same way, but I'm not sure. One time Spot had shot a rude comment at me.

"If it weren't for Racetrack being there," I heard Jack mutter under his breath. "I would have given him more than a black eye." I felt happy the rest of that day. Even though we were always together and so close, I knew that I couldn't really call ourselves a couple.

I had snuck out of my house tonight because I was annoyed with my family. My father had been breathing down my neck recently, so I would get upset easily and it would usually end up into an argument. Jack called me and I had told him the argument between me and my father. He decided to join me at our local park. So there we were, lying next to one another. I sighed as I nuzzled myself closer to Jack. He had one arm around me, while the other was behind his head. I could feel a cool breeze blow against us, and he pulled me so close to him that I had to place my head on his chest. I closed my eyes and listened to his heart beat.

"I love your heart beat," I purred. He chuckled softly and started humming a song from Brokeback Mountain, called "The Wings." I could have easily fallen asleep right then and there. I had already forgotten about the rest of the world. A thought crossed my mind suddenly, and it brought me out of my trance. It was the reason why my father had gotten upset with me this night. "I was accepted to a school today." Jack stopped humming.

"Really? What one?" he asked.

"The one near by."

"Oh, the one with all the snooty people who thinks they're all so smart?"

"Yeah that one." Jack sniffed.

"Is that the reason why your dad got mad at you?" he asked. I sighed.

"Yeah," I said. He didn't say anything so I continued. "I figured that I could start off with a school close by for a year and then, just to make him happy, find another school that's better."

"Where did you have in mind?" Jack asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know…where ever a good school is at."

"So, would that mean that you'd be moving in a year?" There was a pause. I hadn't thought of that.

"Yeah…I guess," I swallowed. Was that why my father wanted me to leave so bad? Maybe it was Sarah's idea…she did seem to act pretty odd recently, like she knew something. Jack interrupted my thoughts. He lifted my chin and kissed me. I pulled back before we got too deep into the kiss. "I don't want to worry about it too much about it right now though."

Jack nodded, "I know…but…just thinking about me losing you…I don't know how I'd live with out you." I smiled at him and he squeezed me gently. "I care about you too much David. If anything happened to you, or to us, it'd hurt me." I kissed his neck.

"I feel the same way Jack," I whispered.

"You know," Jack sighed. "This sounds like some stupid little girl would say but…I think…I think I have given my heart to you. You hold it in your hands. So…take care of it." We gazed at each other for a long time. I caressed his face.

"I will."

**oXoXoXo**

"David?" Sarah poked her head into my room. Slowly, my eyes opened and looked over at the direction where Sarah was standing. She had already let herself in and was now standing awkwardly in my room. "You busy?"

"No, just trying to sleep is all," I sighed and sat up. She sat next to me on the bed. Sarah had a troubled look on her face. "What's wrong?"

Sarah looked down at the floor and started playing with her hair.

"David," she said slowly. "I don't know where to begin…" She paused to see if I had anything to say. I didn't. "Well, you know that I like Jack a lot. I like him very, very much. Well…I don't know how to ask you this but…" She stopped again. She inhaled deeply and then asked, "David…will you stop being gay?"

I stared at her for a while, then burst out laughing. I knew this was going to happen someday, so I had already come up with a story to cover it up.

"Me? Queer?" I asked. "Wow Sarah, what would give you that idea? I don't--"

"David, I'm not stupid. I see how you and Jack look at each other when you think no one is watching. I heard you set up secret meetings with him. I saw you two…kiss a while back. So don't come at me and say your not."

I blinked at her. How could she have known all this? Was she seriously this obsessed with Jack that she would start following me just to see what he was up to? Were we being to obvious? I shook my head.

"I think I can understand your lust for Jack," she told me.

"_Lust?_" I emphasized. She nodded.

"You don't think you really love Jack, do you?" I didn't answer, because I honestly didn't know. "Jack has a very nice body and I think you are jealous of it. So you try to be as close to him as possible."

My fist tightened. Yeah sure, Jack _did_ have a nice body, and most of the time I'm with him I wish I could feel his skin against mine. But I am not shallow _or_ jealous!

"Sarah, who told you all this bull--"

"David, I ask you…no I _beg_ you. Please, stop this. It's not good. Jack deserves a good girl. He deserves real love, not someone to lust over."

My fists got tighter. _"Oh, so now I'm not good enough for Jack? Thanks Sarah."_

"And I suppose _you're_ the one he deserves?" I spat. She didn't answer at once.

"Possibly…if he gave me the chance," she admitted. I started to breath slowly, trying to stop the annoyance clawing inside of me. I found myself doing this more and more often to my family…ever since my dad has been so nit-picky about school.

"You know, if you're so sure that Jack deserves you, why don't you tell him?"

"Because he's always with you and I don't want you or him to get hurt."

We sat there in silence. I finally relaxed myself enough so that I could talk to her.

"So, what do you want me to do about it?" I asked, sarcasm dripping off every word. "Tell him I don't ever want to see his face again?"

"Actually, yes."

"_WHAT?!" _I shouted. That did it. I got up and grabbed her shoulders. "How could you be so _selfish_?" She gasped and tried to pull my hands off of her shoulders. I wasn't about to let go, I cared enough about Jack that I would fight for him. Just like he did with Spot. "You expect everything to fall in your lap because you're the only girl! Well Sarah, Jack just showed you something…you _don't_ get everything you want!"

"David," she whimpered. "David, listen to me…"

"No _you_ listen!" I hissed, shaking her shoulders a bit. "You don't care who gets hurt or not, just so long as you get what you want! Papa and Mama--"

"David! That's the thing! I'm not being selfish, I'm thinking of you!"

"How?"

"Papa hates queers! Remember?"

My heart dropped to my stomach. My hands fell from her shoulder. My father. How could I have forgotten him? He was the one who made it so obvious that he hated those sort of people. When he was a young boy, his father left the family to be with another man. Then around his young adult life, he was engaged, but the wedding never happened because the bride ran off with the maid of honor. I tried to imagine telling him that I was queer, but I couldn't. Sarah fixed her self a bit then looked at me. I had slunk to the floor and was now kneeling, having the bed to support me.

"I'm not going to tell Papa or Mama about you and Jack," she said. " If you do what I ask and tell Jack you never actually loved him, or cared, then everything will be alright." Sarah's eyes were filled with regret as she placed her hand on my shoulder. I placed a hand over my face. "I'm sorry David…I feel terrible for doing this, but it's for your own good. Like Papa always says, gay people don't love each other, it's just lust." She rubbed my shoulder tenderly, but I shoved it away.

"Leave me alone now…" I growled. "I'm already miserable enough already, I don't need you here to make it worse." I knew I was being harsh, but I really did want to be alone. She stood there for a second, then left. I covered my face with my hands.

This was probably the thing that was bothering her and making her act odd. I guess she was just thinking about me, but the thought still hurt. I started trying to imagine my life without Jack. I couldn't do it…I can't do this. I cared about him too much.

Why had my father suddenly been so harsh on me? Because of school? If it weren't for that, this probably would have been a bit easier on me. I guess the reason why he cared so much was because he never was able to go to college. There was a difference though. My father didn't study as hard as I do, so I'm sure I can get into any school. The only reason why I chose this one close by was so that I wasn't too far away from comfort. Mainly Jack…

"_I'm bringing sexy back! Them other boys don't know how to act." _I groaned at the embarrassing ring tone of my cell phone. I looked at the caller I.D. even though I knew who it was.

"Just my luck," I grumbled as I flipped the phone open. "Hello?"

"Hey Davey," Jack said cheerfully. I had butterflies in my stomach and my heart was sinking at the same time.

"Hey Jack, what's up?"

"Uh, nothing much." He paused. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah why?" I asked.

"Well…you sound like you've been crying," he muttered. I rubbed my eyes, they were surprisingly wet. I hadn't noticed that I had actually been crying. "Are you sure you're ok?"

I cleared my throat and said in a more cheerful tone, "Yeah, I'm totally fine. I was just sleeping. You know how your voice is once you wake up."

"Uh-huh…"

"So what were you calling about?"

"Just wondering if you wanted to go out is all."

"Just us? Or--" I asked.

"No, the rest of the gang too," he interrupted.

"Oh, well that's good. It's been a while since the gang has gotten together."

"Yeah since our little bowling incident." I chuckled.

"So what's the plan?" I asked him.

"Well," he sighed. "Race suggested we go downtown to see a play. 'Jekyll and Hyde,' I think."

"Yeah, that's it. I didn't know Race got tickets though…"

"Yeah, guess he was planning it all along."

"Wait, don't you hate musicals?" There was a short pause.

"Yeah I guess…but Race told me that you might like it. Since you've read the book and enjoyed that. So I was just wondering if you'd want to go…with me…"

There was another pause, only longer. This felt a little weird…Jack was actually asking me out on a official date…a group date.

"Well I don't want to drag you on anything you won't like," I told him.

"No, no…I think I might like it. Spot explained it to me when we were hanging out earlier. He also made me listen to a song from it…the song sounded pretty cool."

Spot. I still didn't really like it when him and Spot hung out by themselves. I guess you could call me jealous. But I would usually just hang out with Racetrack, and we both knew that Spot and Jack didn't like it when we did. So I guess we're even in a way.

I shrugged even though he couldn't see me.

"Well…I guess I can go. My parents are out and I'm sure Sarah and Les won't mind being alone for a while. What time do I have to leave?"

"It's four twenty, so how about around five?" Jack suggested.

"So early?"

"Blink and Mush want to go out to eat before."

"Oh ok…do I have to dress up?"

"Um…I think maybe a nice shirt and nice pants would work. That's what I'm wearing."

"Ok. Well…I guess I should go take a shower now if you're going to pick me up soon."

"Right, what were you doing just barely?"

"Your favorite thing to do. Sleeping." Jack laughed. I smiled.

"Well, I guess I better let you go then," he said.

"Ok, see ya later."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I close the phone and sat there for a moment. Jack just asked me out on a date and I have to "break-up" with him. Wow…life is great…

I stood up and grabbed my necessary items before heading towards the bathroom. Les came out of the bathroom. He looked up at me and grinned.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm gonna go see a play with Jack and the rest of the gang," I informed him. "Sarah is going to watch over you, ok?"

"No it's ok, I think I'm gonna go over to Snipeshooter's house. Boots is already over and they are playing video games."

"Don't you think you should tell Ma and Papa?" I asked him as I went into the bathroom.

"What about you?" he countered attacked. I stopped.

"Hmm…I guess…" I muttered. "I'll let them know once I'm out of the shower. Or you can tell them for me." Les groaned but nodded his head. I smiled at him and closed the door.

Part of me was desperately excited for this and the other part was dreading it. I knew that I would have to tell Jack that I could never see him again. I really didn't want to, but Sarah had a point. Plus she was my sister. I had decided along time ago that family came before anything else. So I would go tonight. I would try to enjoy myself as much as I could, I would take in anything I could. Then I would ruin everything. I would tell the person that I cared about the most that I never wanted to see him again. I would hurt him and myself.

Yep…life is great…

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_I'm sorry for this chapter...it will probably be one of my worst. I'm really tired and I didn't really put much thought into this chapter...I don't think I put it very well in words. Heheh...If it takes longer for me to post new chapters up, just know that school will be getting in the way now. Let me know what you think!_


	3. Loves Me Not

**_DISCLAIMER:_** _I do not own Newsies sadly..._

**_WARNING:_** _Slash. Don't like it? Don't read it?_

**NOTE:** _I got inspired to start writting this again. It's been so long, and I'm afriad that it doesn't follow a curve of action like my English teacher has taught (curse him!). But I decided to just keep writting when I have time. Oh p.s. really quick...if you guys haven't figured it out, this story is modern day. And yes I admit that the chapter names are the title of songs, this was inspired by a video in youtube. :)_

* * *

"David? David?" a gentle voice had pulled me out of the darkness. I looked around, it took me a while to realize where I was. I was in Jack's Honda Accord still, but Blink and Mush weren't there. I looked at Jack, who had been the one calling my name. He smiled. "You fell asleep on the way home. I was afraid that I would have to carry you inside the house myself." His smile faded when I didn't laugh. I just blinked a couple of times at him.

Jack sighed and got out of the car. He went to the other side and helped me out, even though I could have done it myself. I noticed that we were a couple of blocks away from my house. We started walking and I looked at him.

"Where's Blink and Mush?" I asked, still sounding a bit groggy.

"I dropped them both off at Blink's place. They seemed to be having some couple problems." Jack answered sounding a little worried. I nodded once and looked away from him. Jack stopped, and I stopped. It looked like the same place where Jack kissed me. Jack lifted my chin up so that I could look him in the eyes.

"David," he sighed. "Earlier during the show, you asked me a question." I nodded again. During the show I had asked him if he loved me because I wanted to know how badly I would or would not be hurting him. "Well…I want you to know that I was thinking a lot about that question. I don't want things to get too awkward for you or me ok?" Jack let go of my chin and looked down at the sidewalk. I waited, even though I could feel my heart already ache. Maybe Jack really didn't love me…

"So, what's you're answer?" I asked, the words were a little slurred. He continued staring at the sidewalk. Then he looked up at me.

"Yes David," he told me simply. "I love you."

I don't know if my heart jumped up to my throat because of the happiness that Jack Kelly actually loved me, or because of the sheer horror that now would have to be the time to take what Jack had told me and throw it back in his face. We stared at each other for a moment, then he busted out laughing.

"What so funny?" I asked confused.

He shook his head and said, "I don't know, your face I guess. It was a little funny…It feels good to get it out in the open now." He grinned, I kept my face serious. His face went serious. "Dave? How…how do _you_ feel about me?" I looked down, I didn't know how to tell him this with out letting him see my true emotions. I felt his hand on my shoulder. "David?"

"I…" I pulled his hand off of my shoulder. "I don't love you."

"That's ok," he sighed. "I didn't really expect you to…even though you did…" His voice trailed off. "Er…never mind, doesn't matter. What does matter is that--"

"Jack," I looked up at him. His eyes were so innocent and gentle compared to mine. I could feel the hard and coldness in them. "I don't ever want to talk to you again." I could see his eyes widen for a second.

"Why?" he choked. "Is it because of what I told you? Look, I'm really sorry but that's how I am right now at the moment. I--"

"It's not only that Jack," I growled mostly at myself. "Don't you know how stupid we were. Me being around you and you actually thinking I liked you?"

"I know you don't like me that way but--"

"I didn't even like you as a friend!" I spat. He took a step back, shocked. "You think you are _soo _cool with your stupid grin and your stupid ideas about leaving this place and going to Santa Fe. You think that every girl is going to end up swooning after you because of your 'charming' looks, and every guy is going to want to be your friend because you are so funny. Well, you listen to me you stupid cowboy-wanna-be! I don't like you at all. I never did like you and I never will! You have a better off chance getting my sister to fall for you then you do with me!"

We stared at each other in silence for the longest time. My fists were clenched and I was breathing a little harder. Jack still had a surprised look on his face, then he dropped his head quickly to hide a tear fall down his cheek. I saw it. At that moment I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him that I was sorry and I didn't mean it. But I knew I couldn't. Sarah was right, and I was wrong. This was for the best. I sighed and started walking away. Jack grabbed my arm and I stopped.

"I don't believe you," he hissed. I shivered. He was either very angry, or very upset with me.

"Believe it cowboy," I growled at him. He pulled me closer and tried to kiss me on the lips, but I pulled my head away. "Don't touch me!" With his free hand, he held my head still and kissed me. My head was screaming to stop being stupid and admit the truth already.

'_Tell Jack you love him too!' _It screamed. _'Tell him you didn't mean it and that your sorry! TELL HIM THE TRUTH!!' _I ignored the voice in my head and pushed Jack away.

"You stupid son of a bitch!" I shouted at him. I swung my arm back and hit Jack right on the jaw. Before he could recover, I turned around and started sprinting home. Tears were running down my cheeks. I did it. I broke his heart and my own. I told him that I hated him. This was for the best. I ran through the front door and up the stairs of my house. I noticed that Sarah and my mother were in the living room.

"How was the show honey?" my mother asked.

"Fine," I said quickly before going into my room. I closed the door and locked it. I was alone now. Now I could cry as much as I wanted to. I fell on my bed and started sobbing.

I had complicated our lives by falling in love with him. Now I had just lost my best friend in the world, who also could have been my lover. I felt terrible for the words that I told him, I didn't mean any of it. I couldn't believe that I had let such a terrible monster come and hurt Jack like that.

In the show, there was a song that had said that love was worth forgiving for. I was hoping at the time, Jack would forgive me for doing this to him. But after hearing those words that came out of my mouth, I don't even think I could forgive myself. I hugged the pillow closer to my face.

I felt like Dr. Jekyll. He was only trying to do good in the world, but instead he created a monster that hurt people. I had obviously hurt Jack, and I had acted like I didn't care. I really did though, and that is why I was crying so hard.

I pulled out my iPod and searched for a certain song that had came into my mind. Once I found it, I put it on repeat and continued to cry.

After an hour or so, I had stopped crying and was now drifting in and out of consciousness. Even though I had no more tears to cry out anymore, it didn't mean that I didn't feel like my heart was stabbed. All I could think about was Jack's sad face while I was saying all those terrible things. I closed my eyes and listen to the song before completely falling into a dark dreamless sleep.

* * *

_Um...yeah, Jack and David seems very out of character...sorry about that. David really isn't that mean, but...yeah I'm done talking. Tell me what you think! If anyone has a sudgestion or something to make it better, or if you like it the way it's going then let me know. _


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